Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser
by abstow89
Summary: Bowser explains a normal day of his life. ...Let's face it: Bowser never has a normal day.
1. Morning

**Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser**

Today's the day Bowser gets interviewed by a koopa filming crew. What could possibly go wrong…?

**Introduction**

"Okay, ready?" asked a member of the film crew.

"Yeah, yeah. I got this."

"All right. Speed, aaannnd...action." said the camerakoopa.

"Right. Hi, this is Bowser, age...57, and this is the story of my life. You may think plotting to defeat Mario while housing eight kids sounds easy, but you're extremely wrong. I spend day after day after day thinking of anything that Mario is afraid of--"

"DAD!!"

"Finding out his weaknesses--"

"DAD!!"

"Trying to cause any type of misery--"

"DAD!"

Bowser shut his eyes and began rubbing his head.

"Spending countless hours--"

"DAD!!"

"DADDY'S GETTING INTERVIEWED, JUNIOR!!" Bowser yelled

Bowser Jr. and Roy Koopa entered his room.

"Roy backed up the toilet again!"

"I did not!"

"You used the bathroom last! I could hear you downstairs, it sounded like an earthquake!"

"Well I'm sorry that frozen potato salad messes with my colon, but I did not back it up again!"

"Yeah, you did!"

"You were flushing water balloons down the toilet!"

"...So?"

"Junior, why were you flushing water balloons down the toilet?!" asked Bowser.

"I wanted to see if they'd pop!"

"See dad? He clogged the toilet! Make him unclog it! ...Is that a camera? COOL!! I'm on TV!"

"HEY! I wanna be on TV!"

"You're too ugly for TV, Junior."

"You're too ugly, Roy!"

"No, you are!"

"You are!"

"You are!"

"You are!"

They started wrestling with each other and shouting in each other's ears.

"GO UNCLOG THE TOILET!!" yelled Roy.

"NOO!!"

Bowser sighed exasperatedly.

"Aren't you gonna stop 'em?" asked the camerakoppa.

"No. They're doing all the work for me. ...Wanna get breakfast?"

"Sure."

**Breakfast**

Bowser and his film crew were at Bowser's favorite diner, Rots for Mots.

"So this is your favorite place to eat breakfast?" asked a film member.

"Who doesn't like Rots for Mots? Hey, Joe! You like Rots for Mots?"

"Are you kidding Lord Bowser? I've been eating here for the last 12 years!" said Joe, a koopatrol guard.

"Hey, is that a camera crew? COOL! I'm on TV! I wanna give a shout-out--"

"Back to me." said Bowser, turning the camera to his face.

"You always eat at Rots for Mots, or is this a weekly breakfast thing?"

"Always eat at Rots for Mots. Always."

"What do they serve here anyway?"

Bowser opened a red package with a Goomba on it, revealing six red rotten eggs. The smell was enough to make some of the crew gag.

"Ugh, Bowser! You eat rotten eggs for breakfast?!" asked the camerakoopa.

Bowser stuffed two in his mouth.

"Of course I do! Eggs are like wine: the longer it sits out, the better it taste. It's not the only thing I eat though."

"What else then?"

"Koopa chili and a burrito stuffed with green cheese and spicy meatballs."

"Wow, that's a lotta protein!"

"You think I got this big by exercise?" asked Bowser, flexing his muscles.

"Don't you mean that fat? How much you weigh Bowser? 15,000 pounds?" joked a film member.

Bowser looked at him angrily and cracked his knuckles, slowly walking towards the koopa.

"...Why are you looking at me like that? Bowser, no!"

**Please excuse us. We are experiencing technical difficulties.**

Bowser was hungrily slurping the Koopa chili and biting the burrito. Somewhere in between, he put a few eggs into his mouth.

"Ooookaaaay, Bowser...I didn't know you were this hungry in the morning."

Bowser burped and said, "Yeah, I've built up my appetite over the years."

"I didn't know you were this violent either. Did you see what he did to that koopa?"

"Shut up, Paul! This is supposed to be intended for kids!"

After a few minutes, Bowser finished his breakfast and sighed.

"What next Bowser?"

**Gassy Tactics**

"Cool situation room Bowser!" said the camerakoopa.

Bowser and the koopa film crew were inside Bowser's personal tactics room. It was where he thought about the various plots and actions that hurt Mario in anyway possible.

"What do you do in order to come with an idea?" asked Paul.

"Easy. First I--"

Bowser was interrupted by loud flatulence.

He laughed and said, "Oops." while scratching the back of his head.

Most of the film crew groaned.

"I cannot believe you farted Bowser! Gosh, it stinks!"

"I'm not sorry about it; protein gives me power! ...And really bad gas."

Bowser passed gas again.

"WHOO!! That was a big one!"

"My head is starting to hurt. You're giving me a skull fracture with your smelly gas!" said Paul.

"That sounded cool, Bowser! Like ketchup getting squeezed out of a bottle!"

Bowser's stomach growled deeply. "Well here, let's get another demonstration!"

He lifted his leg and farted deeply, his tail flipping back and forth like a piece of paper in a fan. The smell was horrible.

"Yeah...I love that sound."

"WILL YOU STOP THAT!!" yelled Paul.

"All right, fine. Jeez, I guess you never got gas from eating rotten eggs before."

"No I haven't. Now let's continue. What do you plan--"

The film crew heard a loud airy squeak and knew Bowser laid another stink bomb.

"Dang it, those silent but deadly ones always sneak up on me." Bowser laughed.

"CUT! CUT! Stop the tape! Stop it now! I cannot work with you if you're gonna fart in my face all day! Just go to a commercial!"

"But Paul--" said the camerakoopa.

"COMMERCIAL!!"

**We'll be right back after these short messages.**


	2. Afternoon

**Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser**

**Lemmy and Larry**

The film crew was on a golf course conversating with one another, wondering if they should continue their interview with Bowser.

"He broke my shell!"

"You said he was fat--"

"He is fat! You really think all that bulk is really muscle? Why do you think my shell broke when he sat on me?!"

"Don't you mean when he put you in a headlock and then body-slammed you and then sat on you which broke your shell?" joked Paul.

"Shut up! You're not the one who had to tape his shell back together! This is so embarrassing..."

"As long as we don't insult him again, there shouldn't be a problem."

"What about the time when he started farting in the middle of nowhere?" asked Paul.

"Like you never broke wind after eating chili and rotten eggs." said Koket, the camerakoopa.

"See, I don't eat Koops chili or rotten Bowser eggs so--"

Paul yelped when something exploded with water right next to his foot.

"What was that?" asked Koket.

"I dunno but--"

Koket shouted when a water balloon landed on his head, soaking him.

"Who threw that?!" he yelled.

Suddenly two more fell from the sky, hitting another koopa crew member.

"Okay, who threw that?" he asked.

Everyone looked up and noticed that several different colored balloons filled with water were falling down from the sky.

"What the--"

All the koopas and golfers began shouting and yelling as several water balloons exploded on their heads.

"WHY IS IT RAINING WATER BALLOONS?!" yelled Koket.

"Get back to the van now!"

All the koopas were running on the field like idiots trying to avoid getting impaled by water enclosed by rubber.

"AHH! Cold, cold, cold, that's cold!" said Paul, hopping up and down when a water balloon fell in his shell.

He tripped over twig on the ground and was attacked by massive water balloons, so much that his shell began to crack.

"WHERE ARE THESE WATER BALLOONS COMING FROM?!"

Lemmy and Larry Koopa were laughing like hyenas on the floor of a plane. Lemmy decided to play another one of his usual pranks involving water balloons. Why should it rain water when it should rain balloons filled with water?

"How many balloons we got left?" asked Lemmy.

"Another box worth, plus that big trash bag you filled up with oil." said Larry.

"Awww...I wanted to throw more!"

Larry laughed. "Yeah! It was funny when that one koopa kept hoppin' up and down when it got in his shell!"

"He was all like 'AHH! I got water in my shell!'"

Larry and Lemmy started howling with laughter again until Lemmy said, "Okay, okay. Let's just dump that last box."

"Got it. Bombs away!!" said Larry, kicking the box out the plane.

"WHEW!! Made it to the van. Let's drive back before--"

"Hey, wait up! Don't leave me back here!" said Paul.

The box that Larry kicked out of the plane fell on top of Paul, covering most of his body.

"Who turned out the lights?"

The rest of the water balloons pummeled Paul, nearing drowning him in the aftermath. He screamed with frustration and ripped the box apart, rushing into the van.

"Paul what--"

"Just shut up and go before--"

The giant balloon filled with oil slammed into the windshield and exploded into the van, dousing everyone with oil and messing up most of the equipment. The back doors busted open and all the video tapes and crew member spilled out, completely covered in oil. All the koopas were whining and groaning.

**Evil Laughter**

"Where were you guys? I've been waiting an hour!" said Bowser.

"What does it look like? We're covered in oil!" said Paul.

"Really? How'd that happen?"

"A balloon filled with oil fell on our van and--why are you smiling?"

"I'm not smiling." said Bowser, smiling.

"Yeah, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are!"

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah--"

"Are you implying something Paul? Something I did to your well-being...?" growled Bowser.

Paul didn't want to offend Bowser and get his shell broken like Kipps, so he just said,

"Uh...no, no. Just askin'."

"Good." he said, smiling smirkly again.

* * *

"Why do we have to practice evil laughing, Pop?" complained Morton Koopa Jr.

"I know! If I have to face Mario, I'd be more concerned on blasting him to smitherrens instead of laughing!" said Iggy Koopa.

"Because when you decide to rule the world after Mario's gone, you need something to persuade all your followers to join you with no hesitation." said Bowser.

"So we laugh; that makes sense." muttered Iggy.

"Do not question your father's methods of conquering! Just do what I say. Now laugh."

"No."

"What?"

"I don't see the big deal between laughing and training ourselves to fight Mario." said Morton.

"We should just--"

"I SAID LAUGH!!"

Morton Koopa Jr. and Iggy Koopa started laughing evilly, even though it was forced a little.

"So how does this help you guys defeat Mario?" asked Koket.

"I'll get back to that later. That's the spirit boys! Let the evil energy flow through you!"

"Wow...this is actually working. I feel like breaking something right now or blowin' something up!" said Morton.

"Just like this boys: MWAHAHAHAHA!!"

Morton and Iggy groaned and slowly back up, offended by Bowser's bad breath.

Iggy groaned and said, "Uhh...that's enough for now."

"Yeah...we're gonna...do something...somewhere else."

Iggy and Morton Koopa Jr. ran away.

"Hey, where you goin'?"

"Maybe they went to go...blow something up?" suggested Koket.

"What, is it my breath?"

Bowser exhaled into his hand and smelled his breath.

"Smells fine to me."

"It smells like brimstone and a forest fire mixed with bad cabbage!" said Paul.

"Paul I don't think you should--"

"NO! I'm not gonna stand around smelling your bad breath Bowser!"

"What?" muttered Bowser, gutturally.

"Look I know it's not your fault your breath reeks of brimstone; you breathe fire. But maaaannn, that rancid odor is starting to get to me. I didn't know your breath stinks so bad up until now. So I bought you some breath mints--"

"What!"

Paul gulped. "C'mon buddy. I'm trying to help you out."

"I'm not your buddy! And I know my breath has an offensive odor; that's why I don't use breath mints, because it tells my enemies to stop messing with me!"

"I was just--"

"If you don't want to smell my breath, I'll just fry you with it!"

Bowser's chest began to get orange and fire was developing in his stomach. Koket and the others stepped back.

"Do not breathe your fire breath on me!"

Koket yelped and the others started to run away.

"Bowser, no!"

**Please excuse us. We're experiencing technical difficulties.**

"Umm...I'm gonna go interview some of his kids." said Koket.

**Bully**

Koket decided to interview Bowser's destructive son, Roy Koopa. Nothing happened at the beginning, except Roy simply stood in front of the camera. Eventually, he started out by saying,

"One time my Dad pooped in Mario's yard and lied about it."

* * *

"I knew it! I knew it was him! I spent two hours cleaning that up!" said Mario, watching the interview on television.

* * *

"Yeah, your dad's done a lotta weird things." said Koket.

"Since your dad is busy roasting my boss, I might as well interview you for the time being. Where do you stand in the family?

"The Bully. Look at these muscles man! Look at 'em!!" said Roy, flexing his muscles.

"Yeah, you're dad did the same thing. How come you're the bully of the family again?"

"Well...there was the time I pushed my sister in the garbage chute..."

* * *

"Hey Wendy, what's that in the garbage chute?" asked Roy.

"Where?" said Wendy.

Roy abruptly shoved Wendy down the chute and walked away, casually whistling.

* * *

"And the time I ate Ludwig's special hamburg..."

* * *

"MMM!! My favorite hamburger with the special sauce and spices sprinkled on top!" said Ludwig von Koopa.

"Hey, Ludwig! Larry's tryin' to steal your trumpet again!"

"What! LARRY!! Put my trumpet down! It is not a bubble blower!" yelled Ludwig, running upstairs.

As soon as he began to run, Roy picked up his burger and examined it. Then he shoved it in his mouth and walked away.

"Roy, no one's tryin' to steal my..."

Roy looked down and saw that his plate was empty. He whined and muttered, "My hamburger..."

* * *

"And the time I put laxatives in Morton's brownie...

* * *

"I wanted the last brownie!" whined Roy.

"Too bad Roy, cause I got it!" said Morton.

Right as Morton was gonna eat the brownie, he stopped and said, "I'm gonna need milk."

When Morton walked away, Roy put a massive brown laxative inside it. Morton took the brownie and tossed it in his mouth, drinking the cold milk afterwards.

"Yeah, that was a good brownie."

"I bet it was..." muttered Roy.

"Why are you smi--"

Morton grunted and held his stomach as it growled viciously at him. Roy slowly lifted the box of laxatives and smiled widely.

"You suck! I swear I'm gonna--"

Morton grunted again and ran towards the bathroom.

* * *

"And the time I put a stinkbomb in Iggy's closet..."

* * *

"I don't see why Roy told me to go to my closet. Nothing's in hear except for--"

Something exploded in his face, emitting a green mist.

"ROOOOOOOOYYYY!! Did you put a stinkbomb in my closet?! I'm gonna smell like this for weeks!"

* * *

"And the time I--"

"Let's get off the subject of horrible things you did your family and back to your father."

"You mean Dad? Yeah, he's always around trying to plot against Mario and hardly includes us in anything. Not since our castles were destroyed."

"It's funny, I always pictured Bowser as a type of koopa who let his kids do all the work."

"Yeah...You want to see me throw a bowling ball."

"Throw--what?"

"Think fast!!" said Roy, throwing the ball at the camera.

Koket grunted and fell backward, unconscious.

Roy laughed. "Dude, you were supposed to catch the ball! ...Dude? Camerakoopa? Hello? Wake up sleepy head..."

**We'll be right back after these messages.**


	3. Evening

**Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser**

**Bowling Balls Hurt**

"Why do I have to operate the camera while you get to be the celebrity?!" asked Roy.

"Because I'm female and you pushed me down the garbage chute last week! Besides, this was my idea."

"You're just gonna balance a bunch of plates on sticks while kicking a soccer ball!"

"Exactly. Do you know how hard that is? Anyway, start the camera."

Roy sighed and turned the camera on and Wendy started balancing plates on sticks while kicking a soccer ball in the air.

"Good evening residents of the Mushroom Kingdom! I'm Wendy Koopa here to tell you about Krazy's Koopas funhouse where you can get lessons on koopa shell bashing and other krazy activities. These prices are so low; we're just giving away our lessons. It's insane!!"

Roy stopped the camera.

"Why'd you stop the tape?" asked Wendy.

"Because you suck. No one is gonna go on the Internet to see some koopa balancing plates on a stick!"

"You don't know that--"

"Yes, I do! People want to see physical pain on the Internet because it's not happening to them, it's unexpected and it's funny."

"Physical pain is not funny! It's wrong."

"Really? Let's prove you wrong."

"Whatever. Just start the tape again."

Roy started the camera again.

"Good evening residents of the Mushroom Kingdom! I'm Wendy Koo--"

Roy abruptly threw a bowling ball at his sister's face and started laughing.

"OWW!! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Why would you do that?! You are so mean!"

"It's funny! Don't you think it's funny camerakoopa?"

Koket laughed. "Yeah, it is kinda funny."

"Why would you do that TO ME!?" asked Wendy.

"Because it's funny! You can--"

"No!"

"You can--"

"No!"

"Shut up and listen! You cannot say that was not funny! See, people getting hurt on camera is funny and you will get 12 million hits in one week; I'm sure of it."

"But--"

"You wanna be known on the Internet?"

"Yes…"

"Then shut up and get in front of the camera."

"Okay."

Roy turned on the camera and Wendy started balancing plates and kicking a soccer ball.

"Good evening. I'm Wendy Koo--"

Wendy flinched when Roy was about to throw a ball at her.

"You flinched. Why'd you fl--"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Start over. I'm Wendy Koo--"

Wendy flinched again.

"Why do you keep flinching?!"

"Roy, this is stupid!"

"If you'd hold still--"

"I don't want to be hit with a bowling ball."

"Yeah, we can't allow hitting on this interview. Sorry." said Koket.

"She's not getting hit, she's getting bludgeoned!"

"What?"

"Exactly--you don't know what that means! Now let's do it again."

"Roy--"

"ACTION!!"

Wendy shouted and dropped the plates as she was hit with another bowling ball. Roy started laughing again.

"ROY!! Stop hitting me with a--"

"ACTION!!"

Another bowling ball hit.

"This is too much. It's--It's too much. I'm gone!" said Wendy, leaving the room. Roy was left laughing on the floor.

* * *

Iggy and Morton Koopa Jr. were resting on a couch watching TV after eating a huge dinner. The second camerakoopa, Kizo, decided to film them.

"Oh yeah…that plate of Koopasta was tastier than ever." said Iggy.

Morton Koopa Jr. burped.

"Ha-ha! You got anymore soda?"

"Nope." Morton burped again.

"Change the channel."

"You change the channel."

"The remote's rights there, just pick it up!"

"You know what?" Morton belched loudly in Iggy's face.

"Ew! Are you challenging me bro?"

"Maybe…" said Morton, smiling.

"Okay then!" Iggy burped twice.

"Wow, this is epic."

Morton grunted and suddenly farted so loud it sound like a balloon releasing air into a can. Iggy and Kizo groaned and laughed.

"That was a ripe one!" said Kizo.

Morton laughed and gestured towards Iggy. He started grunting multiple times, trying to fart. He eventually groaned with defeat. Morton gestured again and Iggy grunted so hard that his body turned red. After a short period of time, nothing but a small and tiny fart came out.

"You can't fart! You can't fart!" said Morton in a taunting sing-song tone.

"Shut up! You only did it cause you ate pork 'n' beans for dinner!"

"Or maybe you just can't fart."

Bowser suddenly entered the room and sat down in between the two, resting his stinky feet on the table.

"Hey, Bowser?" asked Kizo.

"You guys still here? I thought you would've left by now."

"Why?"

"Because I…never mind."

"Hey pops, you wanna join us in our farting contest?"

"Son, I doubt you want me to do that. I just ate--"

"C'mon Bowser! I wasn't here when you went on a gaseous spree this morning. Sides, a bunch of my friends want me to film the evil King Bowser passing gas. I dunno why, they're into that kind of stuff."

Bowser sighed. "If you say so."

Bowser lifted his leg and farted so hard Kizo thought a window might've broke.

"Nice one Dad!" said Iggy.

Everyone started laughing until Morton sniffed the air and his eyes grew wide. A few seconds later, he passed out.

"HA HA!! I won Morton! I won--"

Iggy and Kizo sniffed the air too and felt the same way. They were suffocating on Bowser's gassy fumes. While Iggy began wheezing and coughing violently, as though he were choking, Kizo began to slowly black out and his vision got blurred.

"Oh, come on guys! My farts cannot really smell that bad!" said Bowser.

"That's what you think…" wheezed Kizo.

Iggy slipped into unconsciousness too and Kizo fell and hit his head on the table, dropping the camera.

"We'll…we'll be going to a commercial break in 3…2…1…"

**We'll be right back after this commercial break.**


	4. Night

**Behind the Shell: The Life of Bowser**

**Koopa Strikers**

"All right Bowser. It's nine o'clock, I can't find Paul, one of my teammates has a broken shell, you gassed out Kizo into unconsciousness, and your son threw a gigantic bowling ball at my head. Tell me, why am I still interviewing you?" asked Koket.

Bowser scratched his head. "Because I was gonna reveal to you how you make a Kooky Kookie."

Koket gasped. "Oh snap! My mom always made those when I was a kid! I love Kooky Kookies!"

"Okay, first of all, you need--"

Bowser shouted when a koopa shell zoomed right under his feet, nearly tripping him.

"WHOA!! What was that?"

"I dunno. Right, so what you need is a Koopa leaf and a--"

The same koopa shell zoomed by him and tripped him on his belly. Bowser heard a taunting laughter in the distance.

"Junior, is that you!?"

Bowser was tripped again, nearly falling on the back of his shell.

"Screw the recipe, I'll just film this for the next three hours!" laughed Koket.

"Oh, a wise guy huh? Junior!! If you're trying to get me to fall on the back of my shell, I swear I'm gonna--"

Junior tripped Bowser again.

"ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!!"

Bowser went into his shell and began to spin around over and over again until he was zooming across the ground the same way his son was.

"Bowser…? Where'd you go?"

Suddenly a small shell and a giant spiked shell clunked against each other and zoomed in the opposite direction.

"Oh, this is cool! It's like soccer with koopa shells you can't control!"

Bowser and his son kept striking each other with their shells over and over again until they suddenly were spinning themselves against each other. The noise was so loud it sounded like their shells were grinding away. Koket even saw the shells turn red because of the increasing friction.

"Wow, this is getting intense. I get the feeling I should move out the way before something bad happens."

Koket changed his position and continued filming. Now their whole shells were red and a few of Bowser's spikes flew off and almost hit Koket.

"Guys!! Call it a draw before your shell breaks off! GUYS!!"

Bowser yelled and his son flew in the opposite direction and hit Koket right in the stomach, falling on top of him. Bowser got out of his shell and yelled, HA! I won Junior!"

"Not again…" moaned Koket.

**The Band**

Kizo ran into Ludwig's room and asked, "Hey is your father in here?"

"No. Why?"

Kizo sighed. "Okay, good. I don't want him to gas me out again or hurt me."

"Oh. Well, since you're here, why don't you film us doing our little band performance?" asked Ludwig.

Kizo sighed. "All right. We're kinda just filming random stuff now."

"Right. Morton!! Get out here!"

"No, I look stupid!"

"Just get out here so we can see your new shell."

"…Fine."

Morton walked from behind a curtain wearing a tacky pink shell. Lemmy and Ludwig started to laugh and snicker at him.

"Hey, shut up! Roy wears a pink shell."

"Well he has glasses to go with it, so he looks cooler." said Lemmy.

"Whatever. Just shut up and let's play."

Morton had the drums and Lemmy and Ludwig played the guitars.

"1...2…1, 2, 3, GO!!"

As soon as Ludwig said go, he and Lemmy only played one string before Morton started to furiously bang his drums and scream.

"Morton--" began Kizo.

He still started beating the drums so hard as though he was trying to break them, squealing like some cat and sputtering random words.

"STOP!! STOP!! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!" yelled Ludwig, covering his ears.

Morton stopped drumming and dropped his sticks.

"What?"

"Remember what we said about drumming before? Where it's not just about banging the snot outta stuff?" asked Lemmy.

"But banging the snot outta drums makes it sound better!" said Morton.

"No, it doesn't! I'm the musical genius here, so listen to me and just go by the notes I told you about."

Morton sighed. "Okay."

Ludwig, Lemmy and Morton started playing the music again, which sounded a lot better since Morton wasn't randomly banging his drums again.

"Yeah…this sounds a lot better without Morton randomly playing beats." said Kizo.

Morton's eye twinkled and he slowly started playing off track again.

"Morton, don't you dare!" said Lemmy.

Morton started to bang the drums furiously again, screaming like an idiot. Lemmy and Ludwig didn't even bother playing anymore; they just stopped and observed Morton's stupidity. He finished after a minute or two and dropped his drumsticks, smiling.

"So how was that?" asked Morton.

"Get out."

* * *

"I thought you didn't want me in the band cause my hair sucks?" asked Larry.

"It does suck! What koopa dyes their hair orange and grey?!" said Lemmy.

"A rock star, that's who!" said Larry.

Ludwig sighed. "Just shut up and take that guitar."

Instead of Morton being with the drums, Ludwig took over and let Larry have the guitar.

"All right. One, two, a one, two, three, four!"

Two seconds after Ludwig and Lemmy started playing their instruments, Larry started singing by going,

"OOOHHO, OO-OOO-OO-OO, OohOO-OOOOOHOHWEOHWEOHWE-OOO, OOO-OOOOOOO, OO-OO-OO-OO, OOOOH!"

Larry shouted when Lemmy whacked the back of his head with his guitar, breaking it in the process.

"Let's face it, all of us wanted to do that." said Lemmy.

Kizo panned the camera down, noticing that Larry wasn't breathing.

"Guys, I think your brother's dead…"

"No, this has happened before."

"Really?"

"11 times actually."

**Paul**

"You still recovering from those burn marks Paul?" asked Koket.

"I'm still black! What about you, why do you have a red bruise on your chest?"

"Shut up Paul. I'm gonna go film grass growing out back, it's the only thing I know won't hurt me."

"Kay. Oh, hey Roy."

Roy walked into the room Paul was staying in and punched him to the ground, making him land on the back of his shell."

"Roy?! ROY!! Get back here and help me up! Okay, Paul, just remember what you saw on Futurama: All I gotta is roll from side to side and I'll get back on my feet."

Paul started grunting and rolling around left and right. It'd take a while, but Paul would eventually get back on his feet and walk away.

**One hour later…**

"C'mon…C'MON!! THERE!!"

Paul sighed heavily as he finally stood back up on his two feet after rolling around for a whole hour.

"Okay, now to just--"

Paul grunted and fell back down on his shell again after being punched by Roy. He started whining and flailing his arms and legs around.

"I…HATE…INTERVIEWS!!"

**Cheese!**

"HEY! Hey, Kizo!"

"Yeah, Iggy?"

"Do you think you could get your whole film crew here so we could take a group photo of you guys?"

"Uh…sure. Kinda weird you'd ask that, but okay."

* * *

"Okay, everyone say cheese!" said Iggy.

"CHEESE!"

As soon as Iggy took a picture, a colossal amount of bowling balls fell on top of the film crew and knocked them all out.

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Dad's gonna kill me! Where's the cream pie I put in the ceiling?!"

Roy walked into the photo room, licking all the cream off his fingers and watching Iggy freak out.

"Oh, that's where I put the bowling balls."

"You idiot! Why did you take my cream pies and replace it with bowling balls?!"

"Calm down Iggy. If dad asks, we'll just say you did it."

"You're right. You're right, we'll just say I…HEY!!"

**A Painful Goodbye**

"I'm really sorry that your interview didn't go as planned." said Bowser.

"Yes, you should be." said Koket.

"And that I burned your boss with my fire breath…"

"Yeah…" moaned Paul.

"And that my son kept throwing bowling balls at you guys..."

"Yeah, well kids will be kids."

"Maybe next week will be better?"

"Who said we were coming next week?!" yelled Kizo.

Bowser growled. "Who didn't say that?"

"…Right. I guess we'll see you guys next week."

"Yes…yes we will." said Bowser, smiling.

Bowser shut his large metal door and locked it.

"Let's get out of here."

"Run!" yelled Kizo.

Kizo and Paul and the rest of the members ran into the van and started it, the tires screeching on the gravel.

"Don't you dare leave me here! STOP THE VAN!!" yelled Paul, running after the van.

Eventually Kizo stopped driving and let Paul jump in the back.

"Where are we gonna go?! Bowser will kill us if we don't interview him next week!"

"CANADA!! Nothing bad ever happens in Canada!" shouted Koket.

"Yeah! Off to Canada!"

The koopa film crew drove off into the night, not daring to look back at Bowser's castle. They had to admit, going to Canada, filming Canadians, leaving there stuff behind was a big risk. Of course, they thought of Bowser and his mischievous kids and realized one important thing:

It was worth it.

**FIN.**


End file.
